Okay, I did okay.
Wont publicly announce my results here. Yeah Im satisfied, cause it could be worse (quoted from yiheng), but honestly speaking, Im not happy with my results. Cos they brought along alot of sighing, alot of "why why why!" , "how how how", "should I?" and also I know that compared to others my results are just, okay lor. Yeah I know Im might be having the results some people hope to have, people have been telling me its not bad already, and it doesnt make sense thinking about how others did and looking back at your own, and I keep telling myself that what matters is I get into uni, I did my best, and I didnt do badly. But, its easy to say, hard to do. I dont wanna think but, Im sorry, my mind keeps drifting away.
And I just wanna say, GP is totally __.
I thought I should be happy for my results (I was), but crap, here I am grumbling away. Im such a @?%!*#%@!, I know it myself.
I know, I always expect alot from myself. Since I was small, people around me usually have very high expectations of me. They always think that Im a smart kid, I do well in school, I can always make it. Im always driven by the motivation that I cannot do badly because I'll let so and so down, and if I do badly it'll be something "out-of -the-norm". Maybe you, who are reading this today, you played a part as well. And because of all these, Im expecting so much from myself today. Im disappointed because to me, its not enough.
But whatever it is, I really wanna thank God because I really thought of the worst before. And thankfully Im still surviving alright right now and I really hope He'll bring me to the place I ought to be.
And to all, sorry, I need some time to get over this. I need time because I know this is self-inflicted and I need to clear my thoughts. I need assurance. I need ___. I think I will feel better soon, just not yet. I know Im acting like an idiot but I promise to pull myself out.
:(
God is My Promise
